Arthur Guiterman

"Hark, hark!
The dogs do bark;
Beggars are coming to town:
Some in rags,…

The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup
Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up;
They looked upon the Creature with a loathing undisguised;—
It wasn't Disinfected and it wasn't Sterilized.They said it was a Microbe and a Hotbed of Disease;…

I never loved your plains!--
Your gentle valleys,
Your drowsy country lanes
And pleachéd alleys.I want my hills! -- the trail…

The primitive Pithecanthropus erectus,
With whom the ethnologists rightly connect us,
Defended his own
By cudgel and stone.…

Вот меланхольный шершень Висп
в орнаментных цветах для изб
жужжит: «Несправедлив поэт,
не посвятивший мне сонет!…

I saw a Melancholy Wasp
Upon a Purple Clover Knosp,
Who wept, "The Poets do me Wrong,
Excluding me from Noble Song—…

Amœbas at the start
Were not complex;
They tore themselves apart
And started Sex.And Sex has ruled the earth…

A Flea who felt phlebotomous
Assailed a Hippopotamus;
The Hippo, he
Sat on the Flea,…

The General came in a new tin hat
To the shell-torn front where the war was at;
With a faithful Aide at his good right hand
He made his way toward No Man’s Land,…

Because on the branch that is tapping my pane
A sun-wakened leaf-bud, uncurled,
Is bursting its rusty brown sheathing in twain,
I know there is Spring in the world.Because through the sky-patch whose azure and white…

The Great Tyrannosaurus
Lived centuries ago;
Through marshes wet and porous
He rambled to and fro.The most tremendous Lizard…

Клыки мастодонтов, которыми чудища бились,
В шары биллиардные ныне, увы, превратились.И Карла Великого меч, покрывавшийся славой,
Бесславною пылью, увы, покрывается ржавой.И гризли-медведь, повелитель полярной пустыни,
В гостиной напольным ковром расстилается ныне.И Цезарь давно уже в мраморный бюст превратился,…

Фортуна шлёт не всякому дары царю,
Какие шлёт вам, Конан Дойлю, Рыцарю.
При этом улыбается кокетливо
И кланяется – плавно и паркетливо.…

THE tusks which clashed in mighty brawls
Of mastodons, are billiard balls.The sword of Charlemagne the Just
Is Ferric Oxide, known as rust.The grizzly bear, whose potent hug,
Was feared by all, is now a rug.Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf,…

"Leg over leg
As the dog went to Dover;
When he came to a stile,
Jump he went over."Perhaps you wouldn't see it here,…

An Arabian ApologueAcross the sands of Syria,
Or possibly Algeria,
Or some benighted neighborhood of barrenness and drouth,
There came the Prophet Samu-u-el…

The hippopotamus is strong
And huge of head and broad of bustle;
The limbs on which he rolls along
Are big with hippopotomuscle.He does not greatly care for sweets…

Gentle Sir Conan, I'll venture that few have been
Half as prodigiously lucky as you have been.
Fortune, the flirt! has been wondrously kind to you.
Ever beneficent, sweet and refined to you.…

LEARN this now before you are older:
Don’t go through life with a chip on your shoulder,
Always aggrieved and ever offended,
Fancying wrongs that are not intended.…

Oh, who would choose to be a traveler?—
That anxious railway-guide unraveler
Who spends his nights in berths and bunks,
His days in chaperoning trunks;…

I must go down to the seas again, where the billows romp and reel,
So all I ask is a large ship that rides on an even keel,
And a mild breeze and a broad deck with a slight list to leeward,
And a clean chair in a snug nook and a nice, kind steward.I must go down to the seas again, the sport of wind and tide,…