but honestly though,
we were just friends.
i am not trying to convince
anyone otherwise because there was nothing
i am sure of.
there were no stories to tell.
nothing i could prove.
but at night,
i remember laying down
and recalling the day…
my cheeks would get sore from how
wide my smile got.
remembering how
you cautiously hugged my back.
or how you accidentally touched my neck
with your lips
where i felt your smile.
when you held my hand
for absolutely no reason
other than you wanting to make me laugh.
and how you blushed when
i gave you that curious look.
and then how your eyes softened
when you gave me that fond look
after i held your hand back.
no one could ever look
into it deeply enough to know
what this means.
even i could barely tell.
when i tell them you liked me back.
they seem happy for me,
but i could never show them the image
of the glint in your eyes
when you came forward and knew i was there.
and then you sat
to tell us about your day.
although everyone was listening,
you only looked at my reaction to see
if it at least made me change my expression.
and i knew you cared for what i thought.
when i gave you advice,
you would look at me with a sad smile.
wishing this advice was
also applied to us when our discussions
turned into wars.
but we never talked about it,
it will always remain unsolved.
because now we aren’t even friends.
we are just strangers
who wanted to be lovers
but never had enough proof to involve.
no breakup
nor last words,
to say we got closure.
a love story with no ends nor beginnings.