Higher purpose

There and back, with feelings smoulder,

Covered in the dust of days

Though my spirit will not falter

My body plummets, disobeys.

The inner darkness forces beckon:

"The fight to keep my work alight 

Is harder, bitter every second..."

Testing my goal to bring delight.

When all else shatters, and mind drowns

Into the ocean or despair,

The smile of mine is free from frowns,

I do not worry, this I swear.

The pendant of the passing years

Weights heavier from hours long.

No, pity, no regrets, no tears.

I grind, I'm not alone, I'm strong.




After almost two months of hard work of 100-120 hour weeks, I started to feel tired. The hard work was driven by purpose and ambition for change. It is still the motivation, but it stumbled through the exhaustion, migraines, and cause things out of control don't work out as expected. Nearing the physical and psychological limit, i decide to take a pause to rest, to keep things going after I recover in a few days.

There are temptations of various sorts to take the "easy" path... but I will not loose my focus.

Then, if everything is lost, things don't work out (entrepreneurship is risky and there is more than just a business at stake) - life will move on, and so will I, looking into the future actions to take rather feeling remorse about the past.

The final verse relates to the ageing... not in a direct sense, but in a way it is harder every next time to commit 100% to the next big idea after the previous one falls flat. But that does not mean I will stop, as this is the path I choose, so there are no regrets.

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