Let's straighten this out, my little man,
And reach an agreement if we can.
I entered your door as an honored guest.
My shoes are shined and my trousers are pressed,
And I won't stretch out and read you the
And I won't pretend that we're Easter bunnies.
If you must get somebody down on the floor,
What in the hell are your parents for?
I do not like the things that you
And I hate the games that you want to play.
No matter how frightfully hard you try,
We've little in common, you and I.
The interest I take in my neighbor's
Would have to grow, to be even cursory,
And I would that performing sons and
Were carted away with the daily refuse,
And I hold that frolicsome daughters and
Are ample excuse for breaking leases.
You may take a sock at your daddy's
Or climb all over your doting mummy,
But keep your attentions to me in check,
Or, sonny boy,
I will wring your neck.
A happier man today I'd
Had someone wrung it ahead of me.
