Marriott Edgar

Sam Small had retired from the Army,
In the old Duke of Wellington's time,
So when present unpleasantness started,
He were what you might call… past his prime

You've heard of King Henry
And the story of how he got fond Of one of his customer's daughters,
A lass called the " Fair Rosamond
"'Twere a lovely romance while it lasted,

I'll tell you an old-fashioned story That Grandfather used to relate,
Of a joiner and building contractor; 'Is name, it were Sam Oglethwaite
In a shop on the banks of the Irwell,
Old Sam used to follow 'is trade,

Would you hear a Wild tale of adventure Of a hero who tackled the sea,
A super-man swimming the ocean,
Then hark to the tale of Joe Lee
Our Channel, our own Straits of

I'll tell you the tale of an old country pub As fancied itself up to date,
It had the word " Garage" wrote on t' stable door And a petrol pump outside the gate
The " George and the Dragon" were t' name of the pub,

When Sam Small retired from the Army He'd a pension of ninepence a day,
And seven pounds fourteen and twopence He'd saved from his rations and pay
He knew this 'ere wasn't a fortune,
But reckoned with prudence and

Henry the Seventh of
Wasn't out of the Royal top drawer,
The only connection of which he could boast,
He were King's nephew's brother-in-law

One evening at dusk as Noah stood on his Ark,
Putting green oil in starboard side lamp,
His wife came along and said, 'Noah, summat's wrong,
Our cabin is getting quite damp

On the banks of the Mersey, o'er on Cheshire side,
Lies Runcorn that's best known to fame By Transporter Bridge as takes folks over t'stream,
Or else brings them back across same
In days afore Transporter Bridge were put up,

Joe Ramshottom rented a bit of a farm From its owner,
Squire Goslett his name;
And the Gosletts came over with William the First,
And found Ramsbottoms here when they came

I'll tell of the Battle of Hastings,
As happened in days long gone by,
When Duke William became King of England,
And 'Arold got shot in the eye

When Joe Dove took his elephants out on the
He made each one hold fast with his
To the tail of the elephant walking in
To stop them from doing a bunk