Marriott Edgar

Joe Ramshottom rented a bit of a farm From its owner,
Squire Goslett his name;
And the Gosletts came over with William the First,
And found Ramsbottoms here when they came.

One evening at dusk as Noah stood on his Ark,
Putting green oil in starboard side lamp,
His wife came along and said, 'Noah, summat's wrong,
Our cabin is getting quite damp.

I'll tell of the Battle of Hastings,
As happened in days long gone by,
When Duke William became King of England,
And 'Arold got shot in the eye.

On young Albert Ramsbottom’s birthday
His parents asked what he’d like most;
He said to see t’ Tower of London
And gaze upon Anne Boleyn’s ghost.They thowt this request were unusual…

When Sam Small retired from the Army He'd a pension of ninepence a day,
And seven pounds fourteen and twopence He'd saved from his rations and pay.
He knew this 'ere wasn't a fortune,
But reckoned with prudence and

I'll tell you an old-fashioned story That Grandfather used to relate,
Of a joiner and building contractor; 'Is name, it were Sam Oglethwaite.
In a shop on the banks of the Irwell,
Old Sam used to follow 'is trade

You’ve `eard `ow young Albert Ramsbottom
At the zoo up at Blackpool one year
With a stick with an `orse’s `ead `andle
Gave a lion a poke in the ear?The name of the lion was Wallace,…

Mr. Ramsbottom went to the races,
A thing as he’d ne’er done before,
And as luck always follers beginners,
Won five pounds, no-less and no-more.He felt himself suddenly tempted…

On the banks of the Mersey, o'er on Cheshire side,
Lies Runcorn that's best known to fame By Transporter Bridge as takes folks over t'stream,
Or else brings them back across same.
In days afore Transporter Bridge were put up

When Joe Dove took his elephants out on the
He made each one hold fast with his
To the tail of the elephant walking in
To stop them from doing a bunk.

Would you hear a Wild tale of adventure Of a hero who tackled the sea,
A super-man swimming the ocean,
Then hark to the tale of Joe Lee.
Our Channel, our own Straits of

Sam Small had retired from the Army,
In the old Duke of Wellington's time,
So when present unpleasantness started,
He were what you might call… past his prime.

Henry the Seventh of
Wasn't out of the Royal top drawer,
The only connection of which he could boast,
He were King's nephew's brother-in-law.

You've heard of King Henry
And the story of how he got fond Of one of his customer's daughters,
A lass called the " Fair Rosamond."'Twere a lovely romance while it lasted,
The course of true love ran serene

I'll tell you the tale of an old country pub As fancied itself up to date,
It had the word " Garage" wrote on t' stable door And a petrol pump outside the gate.
The " George and the Dragon" were t' name of the…

Henry the first, surnamed " Beauclare," Lost his only son William at sea,
So when Henry died it were hard to decide Who his heir and successor should be.
There were two runners-up for the title- His daughter Matilda was…

When Joe Dove took his elephants out on the road
He made each one hold fast with his trunk
To the tail of the elephant walking in front
To stop them from doing a bunk.There were fifteen in all, so ’twere rather a job…

'Twere getting dusk, one winter's night,
When up the clough there came in sight,
A lad who carried through the snow,
A banner with this 'ere motto…'Uppards'His face was glum as he did pass,

One day, little Albert
To see 'ow much money 'e'd
Stuck a knife in 'is money-box slot
And fiddled and fished out the lot.

I'll tell of the Magna
As were signed at the Barons' command On Runningmead Island in t' middle of t' Thames By King John, as were known as "Lack Land." Some say it were wrong of the Barons Their will on the King so to…

The reign of King William the Second Were an uninteresting
There's only two things that's remembered of him That's his sudden death and his red hair.
He got his red hair from his Mother,
The crown that he wore were his Dad's

It was Christmas Day in the
In Spain in Penninsular War,
And Sam Small were cleaning his musketA thing as he'd ne're done before.
They'd had 'em inspected that

Albert were what you’d call “thwarted”.
He had long had an ambition, which...
Were to save up and go to Australia,
The saving up that were the hitch.He’d a red money box on the pot shelf,…

On Jubilee Day the
Invited relations to tea,
Including young Albert's grandmother- An awkward old . . party, was she.
She'd seen Queen Victoria's