"MY First - but don't suppose," he said,"I'm setting you a riddle -Is - if your Victim be in bed,
Don't touch the curtains at his head,
But take them in the middle, "And wave them slowly in and out,
While drawing them asunder;
And in a minute's time, no doubt,
He'll raise his head and look
With eyes of wrath and wonder. "And here you must on no
Make the first observation.
Wait for the Victim to commence:
No Ghost of any common
Begins a conversation . "If he should say
OW
ME
OU
RE?'(The way that
OU began,
Sir,)In such a case your course is clear -'ON
HE
AT'S
CK,
MY
LE
AR!'Is the appropriate answer. "If after this he says no more,
You'd best perhaps curtail
Exertions - go and shake the door,
And then, if he begins to snore,
You'll know the thing's a failure. "By day, if he should be alone -At home or on a walk -You merely give a hollow groan,
To indicate the kind of
In which you mean to talk. "But if you find him with his friends,
The thing is rather harder.
In such a case success
On picking up some candle-ends,
Or butter, in the larder. "With this you make a kind of slide(It answers best with suet),
On which you must contrive to glide,
And swing yourself from side to side -One soon learns how to do it. "The Second tells us what is
In ceremonious
ST
RN A
UE OR
ON
HT'(A thing I quite forgot
EN
CH
HE
OR OR
LS.'" I said "You'll visit
RE no more,
If you attempt the Guy.
I'll have no bonfires on MY floor -And, as for scratching at the door,
I'd like to see you try!" "The Third was written to
The interests of the Victim,
And tells us, as I recollect,
TO
AT
IM
TH A
VE
CT,
ND
OT TO
CT
IM." "That's plain," said I, "as Tare and Tret,
To any comprehensio n:
I only wish
ME Ghosts I've
Would not so
LY
The maxim that you mention!" "Perhaps," he said,
OU first transgressed The laws of hospitality:
All Ghosts instinctivel y
The Man that fails to treat his
With proper cordiality. "If you address a Ghost as 'Thing!'Or strike him with a hatchet,
He is permitted by the
To drop all
AL parleying -And then you're
RE to catch it! "The Fourth prohibits
Where other Ghosts are quartered:
And those convicted of the thing(Unless when pardoned by the King)Must instantly be slaughtered. "That simply means 'be cut up small':
Ghosts soon unite anew.
The process scarcely hurts at all -Not more than when
OU're what you call'Cut up' by a Review. "The Fifth is one you may
That I should quote
HE
NG
ST BE
ED AS
IS,
OM A
LE
ER,
IS
LL
HE
WS
RE:
UT,
LD
OU
SH TO DO
HE
TH
UT
SS,
ST
IM AS 'MY
IN
NG!
ND
YS
SE,
IN
NG,
HE
SE
UR
AL
SS!' "I'm getting rather hoarse,
I fear,
After so much reciting :
So, if you don't object, my dear,
We'll try a glass of bitter beer -I think it looks
TO 1 3
II---Scarmoges--
