ON
TY
US
Was the son of an elderly labouring man;
You've guessed him a Scotchman, shrewd reader, at sight,
And p'r'aps altogether, shrewd reader, you're right.
From the bonnie blue Forth to the lovely Deeside,
Round by Dingwall and Wrath to the mouth of the Clyde,
There wasn't a child or a woman or
Who could pipe with
TY
US
AN.
No other could wake such detestable groans,
With reed and with chaunter - with bag and with drones:
All day and ill night he delighted the
With sniggering pibrochs and jiggety reels.
He'd clamber a mountain and squat on the ground,
And the neighbouring maidens would gather
To list to the pipes and to gaze in his een,
Especially
EN
ES
EN.
All loved their
AN, save a Sassenach brute,
Who came to the Highlands to fish and to shoot;
He dressed himself up in a Highlander way,
Tho' his name it was
ON
BY
AY.
AY had incurred a good deal of
To make him a Scotchman in every sense;
But this is a matter, you'll readily own,
That isn't a question of tailors alone.
A Sassenach chief may be bonily built,
He may purchase a sporran, a bonnet, and kilt;
Stick a skein in his hose - wear an acre of stripes -But he cannot assume an affection for pipes.
TY'S pipings all night and all
Quite frenzied poor
ON
BY
AY;
The girls were amused at his singular spleen,
Especially
EN
ES
ON
TY
US, my lad,
With pibrochs and reels you are driving me mad.
If you really must play on that cursed affair,
My goodness! play something resembling an air."Boiled over the blood of
ON
AN -The Clan of Clonglocketty rose as one man;
For all were enraged at the insult,
I ween -Especially
EN
ES
EN."Let's show," said
AN, "to this Sassenach
That the bagpipes
AN play him a regular tune.
Let's see," said
AN, as he thoughtfully sat,"'IN MY
GE' is easy - I'll practise at that."He blew at his "Cottage," and blew with a will,
For a year, seven months, and a fortnight, until(You'll hardly believe it)
AN,
I declare,
Elicited something resembling an air.
It was wild - it was fitful - as wild as the breeze -It wandered about into several keys;
It was jerky, spasmodic, and harsh,
I'm aware;
But still it distinctly suggested an air.
The Sassenach screamed, and the Sassenach danced;
He shrieked in his agony - bellowed and pranced;
And the maidens who gathered rejoiced at the scene -Especially
EN
ES
EN."Hech gather, hech gather, hech gather around;
And fill a' ye lugs wi' the exquisite sound.
An air fra' the bagpipes - beat that if ye can!
Hurrah for
TY
US
AN!"The fame of his piping spread over the land:
Respectable widows proposed for his hand,
And maidens came flocking to sit on the green -Especially
EN
ES
EN.
One morning the fidgety Sassenach
He'd stand it no longer - he drew his claymore,
And (this was,
I think, in extremely bad taste)Divided
TY close to the waist.
Oh! loud were the wailings for
US
AN,
Oh! deep was the grief for that excellent man;
The maids stood aghast at the horrible scene -Especially
EN
ES
EN.
It sorrowed poor
ON
BY
To find them "take on" in this serious way;
He pitied the poor little fluttering birds,
And solaced their souls with the following words:"Oh, maidens," said
ON, touching his hat,"Don't blubber, my dears, for a fellow like that;
Observe,
I'm a very superior man,
A much better fellow than
US
AN."They smiled when he winked and addressed them as "dears,"And they all of them vowed, as they dried up their tears,
A pleasanter gentleman never was seen -Especially
EN
ES
EN.
