Yellow bike, grinning sun.
My first ride, your helping arms -
Caring daddy, busy mom -
Now let go, the journey starts.
Early mornings, winter dark.
Daddy, daddy, where've you gone?
New Years presents - coke and gum,
Canned pineapple, heart unscarred.
Skype calls, rude words -
No more bikes? The winter lingers:
A long distance, hungry birds,
Milky chocolate on my fingers.
The snow gives in, the ice slide melts,
Summer saunters through the days.
Mama, tell me, what's this smell?
Daddy, daddy, you're a haze.
A crowded street, an empty room,
Father, father, you're no use.
Stuck to the ceiling a purple balloon.
Let us pretend we've established a truce:
The scorching sun, the wide-eyed fish,
A rubber ball, a fishing rod.
Father, daddy, how I wish
You did not put me through this all:
Broken plates and broken bulbs,
Unsaid words and untouched palms.
A bike sold off (or was it lost?)
Father, father, you're a ghost.
Hidden bottles always found,
I dreamt: they put you in the ground.
A car sold off, a slap in your face,
A kick in the shins instead of embrace.
Salty salads, anxious mind,
Distant mother, a long night.
Oh, I hate you, hate you so,
You're my nightmare and a foe.
Oh, but nightmares always end:
You are sprawled across the floor,
And I pray the floor's your death bed,
And I weep and slam the door.
Crying mother, why spill tears?
Don't you know he was a rot?
Oh, but nightmares do persist:
You're alive and I am not.
