Safety-Clutch

Once I seen a human ruin     In a elevator-well.   And his members was bestrewin'     All the place where he had fell.   And I says, apostrophisin'     That uncommon woful wreck:   "Your position's so surprisin'     That I tremble for your neck!"   Then that ruin, smilin' sadly    And impressive, up and spoke:  "Well,

I wouldn't tremble badly,    For it's been a fortnight broke."  Then, for further comprehension    Of his attitude, he begs  I will focus my attention    On his various arms and legs—  How they all are contumacious;    Where they each, respective, lie;  How one trotter proves ungracious,    T' other one an alibi.  These particulars is mentioned    For to show his dismal state,  Which I wasn't first intentioned    To specifical relate.  None is worser to be dreaded    That I ever have heard tell  Than the gent's who there was spreaded    In that elevator-well.  Now this tale is allegoric—    It is figurative all,  For the well is metaphoric    And the feller didn't fall.  I opine it isn't moral    For a writer-man to cheat,  And despise to wear a laurel    As was gotten by deceit.  For 'tis Politics intended    By the elevator, mind,  It will boost a person splendid    If his talent is the kind.  Col.

Bryan had the talent    (For the busted man is him)  And it shot him up right gallant    Till his head began to swim.  Then the rope it broke above him    And he painful came to earth  Where there's nobody to love him    For his detrimented worth.  Though he's living' none would know him,    Or at leastwise not as such.  Moral of this woful poem:    Frequent oil your safety-clutch.

Porfer Poog.

Composition date is unknown - the above date represents the first publication date.

The lyrical form of this poem is abab.41.

Col.

Bryan:

William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925),

US politician and lawyer?

Safety-Clutch, n.

A mechanical device acting automatically to prevent the fall of an elevator, or cage, in case of an accident to the hoisting apparatus.