Size And Tears

EN on the sandy shore I sit,

Beside the salt sea-wave,

And fall into a weeping

Because I dare not shave -A little whisper at my

Enquires the reason of my fear.

I answer "If that ruffian

Should recognise me here,

He'd bellow out my name in

Offensive to the ear:

He chaffs me so on being stout(A thing that always puts me out)." Ah me!

I see him on the cliff!

Farewell, farewell to hope,

If he should look this way, and

He's got his telescope!

To whatsoever place I flee,

My odious rival follows me!

For every night, and everywhere,

I meet him out at dinner;

And when I've found some charming fair,

And vowed to die or win her,

The wretch (he's thin and I am stout)Is sure to come and cut me out!

The girls (just like them!) all

To praise J.

Jones,

Esquire:

I ask them what on earth they

About him to admire?

They cry "He is so sleek and slim,

It's quite a treat to look at him!" They vanish in tobacco smoke,

Those visionary maids -I feel a sharp and sudden

Between the shoulder-bla des -"Why,

Brown, my boy!

Your growing stout!"(I told you he would find me out!) "My growth is not

UR business,

Sir!""No more it is, my boy!

But if it's

RS, as I infer,

Why,

Brown,

I give you joy!

A man, whose business prospers so,

Is just the sort of man to know! "It's hardly safe, though, talking here -I'd best get out of reach:

For such a weight as yours,

I fear,

Must shortly sink the beach!" -Insult me thus because I'm stout!

I vow I'll go and call him out!