A dreadful darkness closes
On my bewildered mind;
O let me suffer and not sin,
Be tortured yet resigned.
Through all this world of whelming
Still let me look to Thee,
And give me courage to
The Tempter till he flee.
Weary I am — O give me
And leave me not to faint;
Say Thou wilt comfort me at
And pity my complaint.
I've begged to serve Thee heart and soul,
To sacrifice to
No niggard portion, but the
Of my identity.
I hoped amid the brave and
My portioned task might lie,
To toil amid the labouring
With purpose pure and high.
But Thou hast fixed another part,
And Thou hast fixed it well;
I said so with my breaking
When first the anguish fell.
For Thou hast taken my
And hope of life away,
And bid me watch the painful
And wait the weary day.
The hope and the delight were Thine;
I bless Thee for their loan;
I gave Thee while I deemed them
Too little thanks,
I own.
Shall I with joy Thy blessings
And not endure their loss?
Or hope the martyr's crown to
And cast away the cross?
These weary hours will not be lost,
These days of passive misery,
These nights of darkness anguish
If I can fix my heart on Thee.
Weak and weary though I lie,
Crushed with sorrow, worn with pain,
Still I may lift to Heaven mine
And strive and labour not in vain,
That inward strife against the
That ever wait on suffering;
To watch and strike where first
Each ill that would corruption bring,
That secret labour to
With humble patience every blow,
To gather fortitude from
And hope and holiness from woe.
Thus let me serve Thee from my
Whatever be my written fate,
Whether thus early to
Or yet awhile to wait.
If Thou shouldst bring me back to
More humbled I should be;
More wise, more strengthened for the strife,
More apt to lean on Thee.
Should Death be standing at the
Thus should I keep my vow;
But,
Lord, whate'er my future
So let me serve Thee now.
Began on January 7th
Completed on 28th January 1849
