I
NG a legend of the sea,
So hard-a-port upon your lee!
A ship on starboard tack!
She's bound upon a private cruise -(This is the kind of spice I
To give a salt-sea smack).
Behold, on every afternoon(Save in a gale or strong Monsoon)Great
IN
EL
GS(Great morally, though rather short)Sat at an open
And aired his shapely legs.
And Mermaids hung around in flocks,
On cable chains and distant rocks,
To gaze upon those limbs;
For legs like those, of flesh and bone,
Are things "not generally known"To any Merman
BS.
But Mermen didn't seem to
Much time (as far as I'm aware)With
GS'S legs to spend;
Though Mermaids swam around all
And gazed, exclaiming,
AT'S the wayA gentleman should end!"A pair of legs with well-cut knees,
And calves and ankles such as
Which we in rapture hail,
Are far more eloquent, it's clear(When clothed in silk and kerseymere),
Than any nasty tail."And
GS - a worthy kind old boy -Rejoiced to add to others' joy,
And, when the day was dry,
Because it pleased the lookers-on,
He sat from morn till night - though con-Stitutionally shy.
At first the Mermen laughed, "Pooh! pooh!"But finally they jealous grew,
And sounded loud recalls;
But vainly. So these fishy
Declared they too would clothe their
In silken hose and smalls.
They set to work, these water-men,
And made their nether robes - but
They drew with dainty
The kerseymere upon their tails,
They found it scraped against their scales,
And hurt them very much.
The silk, besides, with which they
To deck their tails by way of hose(They never thought of shoon),
For such a use was much too thin, -It tore against the caudal fin,
And "went in ladders" soon.
So they designed another plan:
They sent their most seductive
This note to him to show -"Our Monarch sends to
IN
His humble compliments, and
He'll join him down below;"We've pleasant homes below the sea -Besides, if
IN
GS should be(As our advices say)A judge of Mermaids, he will
Our lady-fish of every
Inspection will repay."Good
EL sent a kind reply,
For
EL thought he could
An admirable
To study all their ways and laws -(But not their lady-fish,
He was a married man).
The Merman sank - the Captain
Jumped overboard, and dropped from
Like stone from catapult;
And when he reached the Merman's lair,
He certainly was welcomed there,
But, ah! with what result?
They didn't let him learn their law,
Or make a note of what he saw,
Or interesting mem.:
The lady-fish he couldn't find,
But that, of course, he didn't mind -He didn't come for them.
For though, when
IN
EL sank,
The Mermen drawn in double
Gave him a hearty hail,
Yet when secure of
IN
GS,
They cut off both his lovely legs,
And gave him
CH a tail!
When
IN
GS returned aboard,
His blithesome crew convulsive roar'd,
To see him altered so.
The Admiralty did
That he upon the Half-pay
Immediately should go.
In vain declared the poor old salt,"It's my misfortune - not my fault,"With tear and trembling lip -In vain poor
EL begged and begged."A man must be completely
Who rules a British ship."So spake the stern First Lord aloud -He was a wag, though very proud,
And much rejoiced to say,"You're only half a captain now -And so, my worthy friend,
I
You'll only get half-pay!"
