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Hello Soldier!

Back again 'n' nothin' missin' barrin'   arf a hand,

Where an Abdul bit me, chokin' in the Holy   Land. 'Struth, they got some dirty fighters in the   Moslem pack,

Bull-nosed slugs their sneakin' snipers spat   ters in yer back Blows a gapin' sort iv pit in What a helephant could sit in.

Bounced their bullets, if yeh please,

Like the 'oppers in a cheese,

Off me rubber pelt in droves,

Moppin' up the other coves.

So here's me once more at large in Bay-street,

Port, a bloomin' Sargin'. “Cri, it jumbo.” “Have a beer.” “Wot-o,

Anzac; you're a dear.” Back once more on Moley's corner, loafin' like   a dook;

Back on Bourke, me livin' image, not a   slinkin' spook;

Solid ez the day I started, medals on me   chest,

Switchin' with me pert melacca, swankin'   with the best Where the little wimmen's flowin',

With their veils 'n' ribbons blowin'- See their eyes of bloo 'n' brown Butterflyin' 'bout the town!

Back at 'ome-oh, 'struth, it's good!

Long, cold lagers from the wood,

Ev'ry cobber jumpin' at you,

Strangers duckin' in to bat you- “Good ole Jumbo, how're you?” “'Ello, soldier, howja do?” Back at Grillo's where the nigger googs his   whitey eyes,

Plucks his black ole greasy banjo while the   cod-steak fries;

Fish 'n' chips, a pint iv local, and the tidy   girl Dancin' glad attendance on yeh 'zif yeh was   an earl;

Trailin' round the blazin' city,

Feelin' all content 'n' pretty,

Where the smart procession goes,

Prinked 'n' polished to the shows,

One among the happy drive- 'Sworth the world to be alive!

Dames ez smilin' ez a mother,

Ev'ry man ver fav'rit brother: “'Ello,

Jumbo, how is it ?” “Arr there, soldier!

Good 'n' fit?” Takin' hozone at St.

Kilder's good enough   for me,

Seein' Summer and the star-blink simmer in   the sea;

Cantin' up me bloomin' cady, toyin' with a   cig.,

Blowin' out me pout a little, chattin' wide 'n'   big When there's skirt around to skite to.

Say, 'oo has a better right to?

Done me bit 'n' done it well,

Got the tag iv plate to tell;

Square Gallipoli surviver,

With a touch iv Colonel's guyver. “Sargin' Jumbo, good ole son!” “Soldier, soldier, you're the one!” Back again, a wounded hero, moochin' up 'n'   down,

Feelin' 'sthough I'd got a fond arf-Nelson on   the town;

Never was so gay, so 'elp me, never felt so   kind;

Fresh from 'ell a paradise ain't very hard to   find.

After filth, 'n' flies, 'n' slaughter Fat brown babies in the water,

Singin' people on the sand Makes a boshter Happy Land!

War what toughened hone 'n' hide Turned a feller soft inside!

Great it is, the 'earty greetin's,

Friendly digs, 'n' cheerful meetin's “'Ello,

Jumbo, howja do?” “Soldier, soldier, how're you?”

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Edward Dyson

Edward George Dyson (4 March 1865 – 22 August 1931), or 'Ted' Dyson, was an Australian journalist, poet, playwright and short story writer. He w…
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