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Faithless Nelly Gray

Ben Battle was a soldier bold,

And used to war's alarms;

But a cannon-ball took off his legs,

So he laid down his arms.

Now as they bore him off the field,

Said he, 'Let others shoot;

For here I leave my second leg,

And the Forty-second Foot.'The army-surgeons made him limbs:

Said he, 'They're only pegs;

But there's as wooden members quite,

As represent my legs.'Now Ben he loved a pretty maid, —Her name was Nelly Gray;

So he went to pay her his devours,

When he devoured his pay.

But when he called on Nelly Gray,

She made him quite a scoff;

And when she saw his wooden legs,

Began to take them off.'O Nelly Gray!

O Nelly Gray!

Is this your love so warm?

The love that loves a scarlet

Should be a little more uniform.'Said she, 'I loved a soldier once,

For he was blithe and brave;

But I will never have a

With both legs in the grave.''Before you had those timber

Your love I did allow;

But then, you know, you stand

Another footing now.''O Nelly Gray!

O Nelly Gray!

For all your jeering speeches,

At duty's call I left my

In Badajos's breaches.''Why, then,' said she, 'you've lost the

Of legs in war's alarms,

And now you cannot wear your

Upon your feats of arms!''O false and fickle Nelly Gray!

I know why you refuse:

Though I've no feet, some other

Is standing in my shoes.''I wish I ne'er had seen your face;

But, now, a long farewell!

For you will be my death — alas!

You will not be my Nell!'Now when he went from Nelly

His heart so heavy got,

And life was such a burden grown,

It made him take a knot.

So round his melancholy neckA rope he did intwine,

And, for his second time in life,

Enlisted in the Line.

One end he tied around a beam,

And then removed his pegs;

And, as his legs were off — of

He soon was off his legs.

And there he hung till he was

As any nail in town;

For, though distress had cut him up,

It could not cut him down.

A dozen men sat on his corpse,

To find out why he died, — And they buried Ben in four

With a stake in his inside.

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Thomas Hood

Thomas Hood (23 May 1799 – 3 May 1845) was an English poet, author and humorist, best known for poems such as "The Bridge of Sighs" and "The Son…

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