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The Kick Under The Table

After a man has been married awhile,

And his wife has grown used to his

And style,

When she knows form the twinkle that

Up his

The thoughts he is thinking, the wherefore

Why,

And just what he'll say, and just what he'll do,

And is sure that he'll make a bad break ere

Through,

She has one little trick that she'll work

She's able-She takes a sly kick at him under the table.

He may fancy the story he's telling is true,

Or he's doing the thing which is proper to do;

He may fancy he's holding his own with

Rest,

The life of the party and right at his best,

When quickly he learns to his utter dismay,

That he mustn't say what he's just started to say.

He is stopped at the place where he hoped

Begin,

By his wife, who has taken at kick at his shin.

If he picks the wrong fork for the salad,

Knows,

That fact by the feel of his wife's slippered toes.

If he's started a bit of untellable news,

On the calf of his leg there is planted a bruise.

Oh,

I wonder sometimes what would happen

If the wife were not seated just where she Could

On guard every minute to watch every trick,

And keep me in line all the time with her kick.

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Edgar Albert Guest

Edgar Albert Guest (20 August 1881 – 5 August 1959) was a British-born American poet who was popular in the first half of the 20th century and b…

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