Tatyana’s letter to Oneghin (Translation from A.S.Pushkin’s novel Evgeny Oneghin)

I forced myself to write to you,

I could not stand that burning wish

A caged bird now in your hands

You can just set me free or punish.

But you, descending to my poor state,

You can’t be nonchalant I’m sure nor blind

You can’t be cruel to my fate

And keeping just a bit of, no,

Not love but probably compassion

You won’t fade away and leave me

Not sharing even in the least

My scorching and uninvited passion.

I wanted keep it in myself

At the beginning, please, believe me

You’d never get that poor letter,

You’d never know of my shame

Or expectations of my soul

If having just a bit of hope

I would be sure to simply hear

Your voice or maybe see

Your noble face in candle light

And thinking, thinking all the time

Of a new meeting just in crowd

Of people too indifferent to feelings...

But there are rumors – you’re a hermit

I don’t believe that can be true...

Although it’s boring in the country-side

Far from the capital and court...

But we... What can I say about us?

There’s nothing very outstanding or great

Or even fascinating

Though we are glad to, no,

I’d say, are happy

Just to meet you here.

Why did you visit us?

In depth of God-forgotten place

I’d have never known you

Nor learnt the sorrow and pain

Of the unblurred conscience...

Who knows maybe in the future

I’ll find someone who would be

A friend and husband and good father

And me... I could be a faithful wife and loving mother...

Some other person...

I will never give my aching heart

To anyone except you...

And I don’t know who you are

And I don’t care.

The devil maybe or the angel

The only thing for me is clear –

You are a reflection of my dreams

And have been sent to me by providence

Or God, who knows.

And I’d been loving your charming image

Before I even saw it...

Long ago, no, it was not a dream nor reverie.

And when you filed in through that door

Me, burning down, petrified

I knew exactly that was him!

The only thought was crying

And pounding inside.

And I remembered again your voice

As you just talked to me

So many times in silence

While I was helping poor people

And calming down the violence

In their souls or praying God

Intending by the prayer

To set some peace in mine.

And at this very moment

Was not it you, my dear angel,

That flickered in dazzling darkness

And kissed me silently?

Was not it you, that lovingly

Some words of hope whispered to me?

Please, solve the doubts of a soul

Newborn and trapped in devil’s web.

Or maybe that’s even not worth thinking of?

And life itself is storing some other lot for me...

But, no, right now I’m giving all myself to you

Without any rest.

And heavy tears are rolling down my cheeks

As though asking for a defence

And words of consolation.

You just imagine – I’m all alone here

And no one else can mere understand...

My mind is pressed by burden of...

How they call it? Common sense?

Yes, that’s it... “sense”...

I’m left and dying...

And looking forward to see you

Here one more time.

Please, come and set some peace in mind,

Or break the dream

So clear and fragile.

With the only word of fear or reproach!

I’m finishing! I’m frightened to reread,

The shame and fear my body penetrated.

But I believe you won’t spoil the life

And reputation of a girl

So innocent and young as me

In this world where everything

So unjustly was created.

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