An excellent soldier who's worthy the
Loves officers dashing and strict:
When good, he's content with escaping all blame,
When naughty, he likes to be licked.
He likes for a fault to be bullied and stormed,
Or imprisoned for several days,
And hates, for a duty correctly performed,
To be slavered with sickening praise.
No officer sickened with praises his
So little as
OR LA
RE -No officer swore at his warriors
Than
OR
DI
RE.
Their soldiers adored them, and every
Delighted to hear their abuse;
Though whenever these officers came on
They shivered and shook in their shoes.
For, oh! if LA
RE could all praises withhold,
Why, so could
DI
RE,
And, oh! if
DI could bluster and scold,
Why, so could the mighty LA
RE."No doubt we deserve it - no mercy we crave -Go on - you're conferring a boon;
We would rather be slanged by a warrior brave,
Than praised by a wretched
DI would say that in battle's fierce
True happiness only was met:
Poor
OR
DI, though fifty his age,
Had never known happiness yet!
LA
RE would declare, "With the blood of a
No tipple is worthy to clink."Poor fellow! he hadn't, though sixty or so,
Yet tasted his favourite drink!
They agreed at their mess - they agreed in the glass -They agreed in the choice of their "set,"And they also agreed in adoring, alas!
The Vivandiere, pretty
TE.
Agreement, you see, may be carried too far,
And after agreeing all
For years - in this soldierly "maid of the bar,"A bone of contention they found!
It may seem improper to call such a pet -By a metaphor, even - a bone;
But though they agreed in adoring her,
Each wanted to make her his own."On the day that you marry her," muttered
RE(With a pistol he quietly played),"I'll scatter the brains in your noddle,
I swear,
All over the stony parade!""I cannot do
AT to you," answered LA
RE,"Whatever events may befall;
But this I
AN do - IF
OU wed her,
ON
ER!
I'll eat you, moustachios and all!"The rivals, although they would never engage,
Yet quarrelled whenever they met;
They met in a fury and left in a rage,
But neither took pretty
TE."I am not afraid," thought
DI
RE:"For country I'm ready to fall;
But nobody wants, for a mere Vivandiere,
To be eaten, moustachios and all!"Besides, though LA
RE has his faults,
I'll
He's one of the bravest of men:
My goodness! if I disagree with him now,
I might disagree with him then.""No coward am I," said LA
RE, "as you guess -I sneer at an enemy's blade;
But I don't want
RE to get into a
For splashing the stony parade!"One day on parade to
RE and LA
Came
AL
OT
TE,
And trembling all over, he prayed of them
To give him the pretty
TE."You see,
I am willing to marry my
Until you've arranged this affair;
I will blow out my brains when your honours
Which marries the sweet Vivandiere!""Well, take her,' said both of them in a duet(A favourite form of reply),"But when I am ready to marry
TE.
Remember you've promised to die!"He married her then: from the flowery
Of existence the roses they cull:
He lived and he died with his wife; and his
Are reposing in peace in his skull.
