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Canine Conversation

If dogs could speak,

O Mademoiselle,

What funny stories they could tell!

For instance, take your little "peke,"How awkward if the dear could speak!

How sad for you and all of us,

Who round you flutter, flirt and fuss;

Folks think you modest, mild and meek . . .

But would they - if Fi-Fi could speak?

If dogs could tell,

Ah Madame Rose,

What secrets could they not disclose!

If your pet poodle

Could hint at half of what she's seen,

Your reputation would,

I fear,

As absolutely

As would a snowball dropped in hell . . .

If Angeline could only tell.

If dogs could speak, how

It would be for a lot of us!

At what they see and what they

They wink an eye and wag an ear.

How fortunate for old and

The darlings have a silent tongue!

We love them, but it's just as

For all of us that - dogs can't tell.

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Robert W Service

Robert William Service (January 16, 1874 – September 11, 1958) was a British-Canadian poet and writer, often called "the Bard of the Yukon".

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