- It’s dark… am I dead? I don't see anything in front of me. Yes, I probably died.
And then Otto felt a severe blow in the rib cage, he opened his eyes. There were white walls and people in white coats around him. First thought: "Am I in heaven? Are the angels around me?" But then he realized he is in hospital. He began shouting.
- He’s awake, fetch a stabilizer.
All the sounds were repeated several times in Otto’s head and he wanted to say, "Wait, don't scream. I heard! ”, but could not , he was too weak. And he fainted again. Meanwhile, his father followed the going’s-on.
Otto’s father ,Maikeru Murakami, was an odd man: he loved his son , but believed that if express that love then Otto will never become a man. His father also had one weakness - he abused alcohol , saying that: "Every done shot guides me." Otto could never understand these words : "Where does it guide?" "To what?", but could not say anything to the father. Mirai sat in the nearby waiting room, because she called an ambulance and saved Otto's life, but a long wait really exhausted her. She decided to go home and come the next day. The only person who left is Maikeru.
The day has already come. It was gloomy around, puddles after yesterday's rain were still wet and created a terrifying view. The doctors still did not leave Otto, because his condition was unstable - he woke up and immediately fainted ,and literally after the last faint, the doctors diagnosed.
There are two types of diagnosis: light and hard. And when you have a light one, you just have a bad mood, because you can always recover. So it's not a diagnosis , it can be called a warning. But if you are diagnosed with a hard one - it is not a warning. It’s the sentence, and the worst thing in it that even a date is assigned, the date of your death.
The same thing happened to Otto , when the doctors diagnosed. Otto did not know anything about it - at first his father learnt. Maikeru was at the same time furious and sad. It feels like he was pierced with an arrow. At first he felt pain, then rage on the one who shot, and then sadness, because he knows the consequences. Father grieved , but at the same time blamed Otto, because if he did not smoke, he would not have a cancer. But it is too late to blame, the time has come. Meanwhile, Mirai got in the room. Otto slept happily , and the father was sitting next to him.
- How is he? - asked Mirai.
- Everything is fine.
- But I'd never said this from the look on your face .
- What's your name? ( said father compassionately )
- My name is Mirai , and you?
- Maikeru, Otto’s father.
- Nice to meet you. So how is he?
- Are you his girlfriend?
- No, no way, I'm just his friend.
- Well, he got lung cancer.
The girl froze and did not say a word.
- Yes , I personally find it painful to hear, but it's his own fault. If he didn't smoke, nothing would have happened (father said difficultly).
- How you even dare to accuse him?
- All the disasters of the human occur less on what they haven’t done that they have to than on what they had done what they had not to do.
- You are probably right , but to blame the son at this time , it is unbearable! Better blame yourself , because you were unable to guide him on the right path, because you were a bad father to him. By the way are you his foster father?
- No.( Maikeru uttered angrily and went out of the room and slammed the door, so the plaster has crumbled)
It’s been a couple days after Otto found himself in the hospital. During his stay Otto was paid a visit only once. He’s been thinking over many thoghts ever since: "It's the worst when they forget about you, when you haven’t got someone to lean on or someone to listen. It makes you feel a dying wolf, who walks alone in the woods and there’s no one to lick your wounds , no one to comfort you, no one cares, one more or less. If you die then no one will think about you unless to say: "He was a nice guy” and that’s all , and the next day you will be forgotten . Well, maybe it’s for the best? When no one will come and squeeze out that he sympathizes , no one will mourn, spend their nerves; you'll just close your eyes and you have no worries , you'll find yourself in a better world, in the utopia of which you dreamt so long. Many people can't get through this part, this life , and commit suicide. The suicide has one advantage. You don't have to seek your victim. But it's still not an option , why do you shorten your time?"